http://zievcoaching.com/2009/11/19/to-engage-or-disengage/ Life Coach New York, Career Coach, Executive Coach, Personal Coach: NYC, California, New Jersey, Worldwide, London Tue, 04 Jan 2011 20:28:06 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 http://zievcoaching.com/2009/11/19/to-engage-or-disengage/comment-page-1/#comment-5 Stefanie Fri, 04 Dec 2009 20:46:00 +0000 http://zievcoaching.com/?p=343#comment-5 Hi John - Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I hear your point and can appreciate that at the core, it's true, Cricket did not acknowledge or take responsibility for the neighbor's upset or any part she may have had in contributing to it. The 100% responsibility ("RESPONSE-ABILITY") Cricket did take, though, was removing herself from this situation because she knew the <em>level</em> of rage ultimately did not have to do with her. Instead of engaging with the neighbor's anger - which, to my original point probably had more to do with the neighbor's lack of self-care regarding this situation in the past than Cricket and her clogs in the present - she chose to respond with levity and leave. This was her 100% "ability to respond" and take care of herself in the moment. Perhaps the bigger point is that there are several aspects of 100% in each scenario. Using this example with Cricket, I outlined one of them. Fair? Hi John – Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I hear your point and can appreciate that at the core, it’s true, Cricket did not acknowledge or take responsibility for the neighbor’s upset or any part she may have had in contributing to it. The 100% responsibility (“RESPONSE-ABILITY”) Cricket did take, though, was removing herself from this situation because she knew the level of rage ultimately did not have to do with her. Instead of engaging with the neighbor’s anger – which, to my original point probably had more to do with the neighbor’s lack of self-care regarding this situation in the past than Cricket and her clogs in the present – she chose to respond with levity and leave. This was her 100% “ability to respond” and take care of herself in the moment. Perhaps the bigger point is that there are several aspects of 100% in each scenario. Using this example with Cricket, I outlined one of them. Fair?

]]> http://zievcoaching.com/2009/11/19/to-engage-or-disengage/comment-page-1/#comment-3 John Wed, 02 Dec 2009 00:58:17 +0000 http://zievcoaching.com/?p=343#comment-3 While I think there is wisdom in the lessons you have drawn out of this story, I can't help but wonder whether "Cricket" has really "owned her 100%." She fails to acknowledge to the enraged neighbor that it is her noisy clomping up and down stairs that is the irritation and source of the complaint... not the forgetfulness. You have given Cricket the benefit of interpreting her behavior as having defused the situation with humor. But, it seems to me one could equally see her as having been no more successful as expressing herself authentically than the neighbor. That said, thanks for posting this. One way or the other, I think I got the deeper points you've made. While I think there is wisdom in the lessons you have drawn out of this story, I can’t help but wonder whether “Cricket” has really “owned her 100%.” She fails to acknowledge to the enraged neighbor that it is her noisy clomping up and down stairs that is the irritation and source of the complaint… not the forgetfulness. You have given Cricket the benefit of interpreting her behavior as having defused the situation with humor. But, it seems to me one could equally see her as having been no more successful as expressing herself authentically than the neighbor. That said, thanks for posting this. One way or the other, I think I got the deeper points you’ve made.

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